To cohabitate or not to cohabitate? That is the question.

Throughout the years a lot has been said regarding cohabitation before marriage. The good, the bad, the moral, the practical, the pros, the cons, and the arguments just keep going on and on. But it still depends on the couple whether this set-up will ultimately make or break the relationship.

So if you and your hubby are considering of putting yourselves in such a predicament, let's go through first the yin and yang of cohabitating with your partner, and if this will actually help further your relationship or spiral it down to the unfortunate worse.

The next best thing to Reality

Cohabitation before marriage is like a preview of what a married life is going to be. Its way better compared to a dinner date if you really want to know your partner in more detail – his/her true nature and personality, insecurities, quirks, idiosyncrasies, his/her stand on certain issues, how good he/she is at taking responsibilities and other things that help both of you decide if you want to pursue with happily ever after or stop, and rethink about it.

Practical and Economical

The couple can actually save money by living together. Cohabitation allows them to save rental costs and other expenditures that would have otherwise been impossible if they were living in different houses. They can actually put aside the money and use it once they begin their married life. That is if they do intend to take their vows in front of the altar.

Societal and Religious Considerations

Society and religion frowns upon cohabitation before marriage.  For them, premarital cohabitation is morally wrong and its value for preparing couples for marriage is questionable and unacceptable. Another problem posted by cohabitation before marriage is when you were raised in a society wherein they frown upon such things or when you were bought with religious beliefs that go against premarital cohabitation, you feel this guilt that you are violating your religious and moral upbringing.

Kills the excitement of Marriage

When couples have already been living together for quite some time, marriage turns as a mere formality for them. Studies have also shown that, couples who cohabitate before taking their vows have low satisfaction on marriage after they marry, and that cohabitating couples are more problematic and their relationship turns sour and experience a lot of individual as well as couple-related problems. Couples who live together are more prone to divorce compared to those who did not cohabitate with each other before marriage.

Opinions, Statistics will continually vary as time passes by, but it is still ultimately up to you and your partner whether both of you are going to cohabitate before marrying or not. As long as your decision feels right for you and you have come to your decision in a manner befitting of a matured adult, then go for it. After all, it's your life and you have the prerogative.

One of the dilemmas brought upon this generation by change in attitudes and lifestyle is the prospect of cohabitation before marriage. Not that it was not an issue, even in our childhood. It most probably was. The only difference was then, whoever engaged in it were rebels from the word go, a people who would have to endure the wrath of the society as well as being ostracized for violating the norms of the society. The story was the same across all divides be it, western or eastern cultures, it was the same story

Today cohabitation has become the ‘in thing' amongst the younger generation. More unmarried couples are living together than any other time in the history of man. The society has become increasingly permissive and fingers are no longer pointed at such couples. The major reason is the influence of urbanization as well as the influence of both the big screen and the small screen, availability of books and resources today, on a subject hitherto untouched, even frowned upon, and the general attitude prevalent in today's societies where everyone minds their own business!

Pro-cohabitation before marriage- folks would rather say that it is actually a good thing for a people in a relationship to live together before marriage, reasons being, that the two get to know themselves better and actually are able to determine whether their relationship, translated into marriage, would ever work out. Another given reason is that, with the hard economic conditions today, cohabitation before marriage actually saves on living costs. Makes sense I must say

Which begs the question, why would anyone be against cohabitation before marriage if it feels so right? There are various reasons why. First of all, co habiting is a preserve of married couples. As long as people are not yet married, they have no business living together. One would also say, it takes away the whole object of marriage, which would be to live together and do all things together. Cohabiting un married couples do everything together; they are practically ‘married'. What became of moral principles and Godly principles, what became of the ‘wait until you are married principle' has society forgotten so fast the sanctity of marriage or whatever the society feels no longer matters?

Cohabitation before marriage might seem like a sensible thing to do given all the reason above, but it beats the purposes of marriage and it seems like the easy way out, kind of like ‘living your life before living'. One might want to consider the cons of cohabitation before marriage before embarking on it, all the positive reasons notwithstanding.